The date is 24 December 2013. It was Christmas eve, minutes before Midnight.
The mistake, a common one - I did not save the final draft of my project proposal before the dreaded Windows auto-update. For the next 15 minutes in my two-by-two-meter office cubicle with awful ventilation, I just stared at the blue update screen. My mind went blank as well.
It wasn't the most pressing work, nor was it particularly essential. It was, however, the last straw. I felt exhausted and defeated. The blue screen not only deleted my proposal, but it also consumed my final sliver of energy too.
I didn’t realize it then, but it was a classic case of burnout – a state that is much more common among my peers than I thought.
Have you ever felt frustrated over the tiniest issues at work and had no explanation for it?
Do you have to drag yourself out of bed every morning to work, and take ages just to settle down to get started?
Have you ever wanted to call it quits but you worry about the bills you have to pay or experience guilt when you want to leave and feel trapped as a result?
There's a decent chance that you are experiencing burnout.
In my conversations with friends and clients, I hear this repeatedly – “I am so sick and tired of working, I want to retire soon”. When probed deeper, some common themes appear consistently – work frustrations, lack of time for other non-work aspects of life, and money insecurities. People wish to get out of their unhappy, burnout state, and retirement seems to be the answer.
My next question would usually make their faces light up and invite a smile on their face, as they share what they would do when they retire. Their wish lists would include playing Mahjong or walking their dogs all day long; traveling around the world or going overseas for that 3-month yoga or ski instructor course; to even setting up a foundation for a cause they believe in.
My last question, however, would wipe the smile from their faces. “Why wait till retirement to do it? Why not now?”
I find that while we are busy chasing after our career goals or fulfilling our roles and responsibilities in life, we may have missed out on living it. The idea of retirement was first put forth as the light at the end of the tunnel in Germany, a hundred and thirty-three years ago. My research suggested that it was first coined in 1889 and established as a government system to take care of the German working class. Many other countries adopted their model since.
Even though it is pegged to a long-term time frame, our grandparents and parents had little qualms about devoting most of their life to their work, before taking their final long holiday in their 60s. I believe as we grew up watching them, a certain, subconscious narrative would have been formed about how life would be led and when retirement should be. Especially so, when our social security scheme is closely tied to it.
I do want to challenge our conventional way of looking at work, life, and retirement because I am hugely dissatisfied with the current definition – both as a financial consultant and as an individual. But I’ve come to realize that even before I can start to redefine retirement, 2 key areas needed to be addressed:
1. My purpose in life
2. My insecurities about money
1. Clarity of purpose in life correlates directly with our choice of work and in turn, our well-being. Simply because we are likely to spend a huge proportion of our time at work! If you are blindly slogging your life away till retirement at 65 without knowing why or what for, chances are you are part of the growing group of the dissatisfied working class I affectionately call, the workplace zombies. Most of them go through the drudge of daily work aimlessly and come alive only on the weekends. That is if they get any. Increasingly, I think more are losing the enthusiasm to even enjoy their free time and choose unhealthy addictions or escapes from their everyday lives. The dreams of an ideal life in the distant retirement future may offer some comfort but hardly any relief in their daily grind, as work and societal expectations get more demanding over time.
Having clarity of our purpose is not just about listing down our priorities. It requires constant observations, deep reflections, and active design to understand what we value the most and align our actions and decisions to it.
Shortly after that disastrous Christmas eve episode where I spent another 3 hours past midnight to recreate the proposal, I decided to do a solo trip to Japan. It was there, in the land of delicious raw fish, surrounded by beautiful strangers communicating in a language I could barely understand, I realized I could live a little more. I decided to not compromise with my beliefs and only work on things that bring me joy and matter to me. Bit by bit over the years since, I learned to understand myself more – know what makes me happy, why some goals are more important than others and what tasks are better accomplished if I leverage and outsource. One interesting realization for me is that in whatever I do, I must be having fun! This has helped me channel my attention in projects and aspirations that are fun for me, which in turn gives me the energy to sustain my actions and bring my goals to fruition.
With this clarity, work was no longer a detached part of my life, nor is it simply a means for me to earn money. Rather, it is integrated into my life and continues to be a dear part of me. I fully embrace the role I play in my team, and I thoroughly enjoy the company of my colleagues, who are also my workout buddies, my whiskey mates, and my support group in my parenting journey. As the saying goes “If you love your job, you will not have to work a single day in your life”, and I cannot agree more with that.
2. Money insecurities seemed to be ingrained in us as Singaporeans. Perhaps it's the Singapore story of having to survive as a small young nation - many of us are constantly worried about not having enough money. While a healthy dose of fear can be useful to drive progress and innovation, a scarcity mindset coupled with a high-strung work environment creates the perfect breeding ground for resentment and stuck-ness.
In the course of my work in financial services, I realize that it's not always about the lack of money. More often, it is a lack of understanding of it. Once our minds are opened to various possibilities, wealth accumulation plans, and paths, we can strategize and determine the best possible ways to grow your money, so that you can enjoy spending them on things that make you happy as well, and not just on the necessities. While prudence is a virtue, I also believe in the value of spending on quality or meaningful experiences. A 3-month vacation with the family and kids across America is an experience that money actually can buy. And it can be done without breaking the bank or foregoing future security.
Another area to look at is the relationship we have with money. Some of us treat money like a treasure that needs to be guarded and locked up (the modern version of a Milo tin or safe is the bank account); some of us see it as a means of exchange for goods and services, and hence only use them when we need to spend them. What I learned from the wealthy, is that they treat money as a means of acquiring or building money-generating assets, which means our wealth has the potential to grow alongside us, as we continue to work and earn our income.
Our insecurities towards money can be managed both ways – (1) by establishing a well-designed, strategic financial plan that addresses your near-term goals, especially those that let you live life the way you want, and the long term safety net, and (2) by shifting our perspectives and adopting a healthier relationship with money.
As overall awareness and financial literacy have improved, the conversation around conventional retirement has also been shifting. Initiatives like the FIRE (Financial Independence, Retire Early) movement help people focus on achieving their retirement goals asap so that they can escape the workforce. While strict adherence to this method can lead to the creation of money & time, it does not talk about how to be prepared for the desired retirement lifestyle that we will truly enjoy (Too many people jumped into retirement thinking it is freedom, only to feel a loss of purpose and identity. They may now have money and time on hand, yet still be unfulfilled and unhappy), nor does it address the way we live our lives in the years that lead up to that point of retirement.
Perhaps these are some questions that are important to ask now:
What if you could experience freedom today, how would that look like for you?
What are the milestone goals that must be taken care of, before you will feel secure about your future?
What if you take multiple mini-retirements in your journey through life? What would that do for your mental, emotional and physical wellness?
There's never a better time than now to talk and think about this. It is high time we start to rethink how we live our lives and rethink the concept of retirement.
Edmund Xu is an Advisory Director representing finexis advisory Pte Ltd. This article contains only his personal views and opinions and is for informational purposes only. The information provided is of a general nature only and does not take into account your specific objectives, needs and financial situation. The information may not be appropriate to your individual needs and should not be relied upon as financial advice. You should seek advice from your financial consultant before making any financial decisions.
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