Maybe you are reading this because the title caught your attention. Or perhaps you are my friend and you are just wondering what I am up to. Either way, keep reading, because I have something important to say. I’m Hongyu, and I turned 34 this year. My friends and teammates affectionately call me the Ah Beng of the team. I did not like it at first, because I felt that an Ah Beng reputation is not appropriate for my role as a Financial Consultant.
Over time, with the encouragement and affirmation of my teammates and my clients, I am embracing it and loving it. It does feel good to be loved and accepted for who you are.
But that is not what this piece is about. Let me share some background first:
Days as an Ah Beng
As a primary school kid, I was generally well-mannered and did decently well for PSLE to get into Express stream. However, in Sec 3, I started hanging out with friends who were more interested in having fun than in their studies. Looking back, I reckon I was disinterested too, and hence attracted that group to me. 物以类聚，人以群分 (Similar things group together; similar people fit together).
I remember vividly that I didn’t take my O level prelims seriously - I failed every single paper. I am pretty sure made it to the “hall of fame” after the prelims, because teachers would give me weird looks and whisper to each other when they see me during recess; my vice principal also went behind my back to speak to my clique and told them to stay away from me because I was bad influence.
TillI today, I still find it hard to describe how I felt back then when I knew – though I can now rationalize why the teachers and my vice principal did what they did, it was painful for a 16-year-old boy. I kept up with my image of the bad boy in school, and as everyone expected, fared poorly for my O levels.
That was a low point in my life. Academically, I did the worst in my family - my eldest sister went to Junior College, my 2nd sis went to a Polytechnic, while I went to ITE. I felt like I had no results to be proud of, I was also shunned by people because I was “bad influence” and I suffered from esteem issues.
The turning points
As I reflect, I realize there were 2 major turning points in my life. The first being my 2 years in National Service (NS). Days before my enlistment, I told myself that NS would be an opportunity for me to change the life that I hated back then. And since nobody knew about my past in the army, I could start afresh. Like setting up a new life in a foreign country, I was able to put my past baggage down and be myself. I am grateful that I was supported by many brothers and buddies, who grew together with me.
After NS, I was clear that I want to do better in life and was ready to work my socks off. I also felt that I had lost much precious TIME because I took the longer path. While some of my peers were already working as a degree holder, I had just graduated from my Diploma. I decided in my heart, that if others worked for 8 hours, I’d work for 12; If I need to sacrifice my sleep, my social, my hobbies, I would. I believe that hard work can make up for what I was lacking. 勤能补拙. I started working full-time at age 21 and did my part-time degree too.
Those 8 years in corporate was a time of grind and hard work for me. Money was decent - enough to cover my bills, pay for some comforts with a bit of savings left. But I wished I could be paid more and have more TIME on hand.
At 29 years old, I was tired from the work, and decided to do a backpacking trip to South America for 4 months. Best. Decision. Of. My. Life. (Before I met my wife Joelle of course!) Though I emptied my bank account, I made new friends, expanded my world view and gained so much from that experience.
三十而立 (Thirty years old, and therefore independent)
The year I turned 30 was my 2nd turning point – I felt a lack of fulfillment in my accounting career, I was not challenged at work. I am also very aware that my income trajectory will not match what I desire for myself and my future family. My parents were also ageing, and I was concerned about their retirement and old-age expenses, because I knew they had not done much planning for themselves.
After much deliberation, I decided to become a financial consultant.
My first year was tough – I faced a lot of rejections, results were slow, and as a fully-commissioned advisor, I relied on my savings. My bank account depleted fast though. I felt so small back then; I rejected gatherings because I wanted to save money, and also because I was to embarrassed to admit that I was struggling in my new career then.
I’m thankful for my past experience, because it gave me the “thick-skin” and resilience to pull through that challenging 1.5 years period. I worked super hard and improved, my client base grew, clients are introducing me to their friends and family, and things got better. I am proud to achieve my first MDRT accreditation in 2021 – and I am thankful for the people around me who made that possible.
So what is the important thing I want to say?
My Biggest Regret
It was not that I did not study harder, or wish I was more handsome. My biggest regret is that didn’t appreciate that my TIME is mine.
When I was younger, I did not think my TIME was mine – it belonged to my family, my school, my friends, and I just followed others and followed the system.
When I was in my 8 years of corporate life, I did not think my TIME was mine. It belonged to the company I was working for, where I exchanged for money for food and bills in return. I was prepared to repeat this cycle till I am 65, because that is what everyone is doing.
When I was in South America, I had full control over what I want to do, where I want to go, how I want to experience my 4 months there. I had a taste of what freedom feels like for me, and everything clicked. That was when I knew I could not stay in my corporate role anymore – I don’t want to blindly chase after money, climb the ladder, or be bound by societal expectations. I want to take back control of my time, choose my own freedom and chase after that.
Reclaiming TIME
And that’s what I’ve been doing since I switched career – I’ve been reclaiming TIME. It was not easy at first, because I had to make a lot of adjustments to the way I see myself and to decide how to invest my TIME. There was no “boss” to tell me what to do, no clear job description to define the scope of my new role, and certainly no contract to say that I should be working 44 hours a week. I had to define everything for myself from scratch – the value to bring to my clients, the goals to set for myself and the amount of time to spend at work.
That first 1.5 years of my career totally shifted my mindset; I forced myself to be clearer about my values and priorities, and I am glad it paid off for me. I chose to invest TIME into my own growth, into strengthening relationships with my loved ones and into building a sustainable business that will take care of my future. I now protect my TIME fiercely and channel them to the most important areas of my life.
Life is short, we never know what will happen in the next moment. I really enjoy and treasure the TIME i spend intentionally with my family, with the people and things I love. While there are still priorities to balance, challenges to overcome and new things to learn, I am also aware of the 86,400 seconds I am blessed with every day that will never be recovered once lost. Therefore, I made my decision to make the best out of it – to enjoy my freedom today while having my future secured.
Looking back, I am just super grateful for the people in my life. Since my early days till now, I have received so much help and support from people around me. So, I would like to give forward in abundance wherever possible. This article is one of my ways of paying it forward – to share my journey and experience, and hopefully provide some new perspectives for you, or anyone you think this article might speak to.
If this article gives you the "feels", just reach out to this Ah Beng – I will always make time for a good Kopi siew dai and a nice chat about your view on TIME. =)
Chen Hongyu is a financial consultant representing finexis advisory Pte Ltd.
This article contains only his personal views and opinions and is for informational purposes only. The information provided is of a general nature only and does not take into account your specific objectives, needs and financial situation. The information may not be appropriate to your individual needs and should not be relied upon as financial advice. You should seek advice from your financial consultant before making any financial decisions.
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